DANGER: new viruses discovered!:
Congressional Virus v2.0 : Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.
Tipper Gore Virus : When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
Government Ecomomist Virus : Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus : Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Warren Commission Virus : Won’t allow you to open your files for 75 years.
David Duke Virus : Makes your screen go completely white.
Pat Buchanan Virus : Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.
Texas Virus : Makes sure it’s bigger than any other file.
Adam And Eve Virus : Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Warren Beatty Virus : Constantly tries to prove it’s virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.
Airline Virus : You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus : Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
PBS Virus : Your PC stops what it’s doing every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus : Nobody can find it.
Kevorkian Virus : Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
Healthcare Virus : Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends a you a bill for $4,500.
LAPD Virus : It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in “self-defence”.
Billy Graham Virus : When you save a file, it prints, “I am saved!” to the screen.
And Finally…
Michael Jackson Virus : Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won’t harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
